Thornton’s are deep in the brown stuff!

Like my fist through one of their Easter Eggs, the Thorton’s empire is crumbling.

Following a strategic look while walking past the store in Cornmarket, it is pretty obvious nobody wants their chocolate.

Like the price of their eggs after Easter, their share price is down. Maybe if I had bought mine at full price they wouldn’t be in this mess. Well don't blame me, Mrs Wallie insists on a bargain!

‘Refocusing’

The company says its goal is to refocus the business –on chocolate. This is a switch in strategy I’m sure anyone in a hole with a shovel can relate to.

Thornton’s seems to be hoping people will eat more chocolate. Yes, but eating too much chocolate will make you sick; sick to the point of regurgitation.

And nobody needs to see regurgitation... http://bit.ly/kuDYny

FAO: Mary Kennedy & Friends/ Blacksmiths Festival Monaghan. ‘Back in Black’ by AC/DC.

Back in Black
by AC/DC

Back in black
I hit the sack
I've been too long I'm glad to be back
Yes I'm, let loose
From the noose
That's kept me hanging about
I keep looking at the sky
'Cause it's gettin' me high
Forget the herse 'cause I'll never die
I got nine lives
Cat's eyes
Usin' every one of them and running wild

'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
(Well) I'm back in black
Yes, I'm back in black

Back in the back
Of a Cadillac
Number one with a bullet, I'm a power pack
Yes, I'm in a bang
With a gang
They've got to catch me if they want me to hang
Cause I'm back on the track
And I'm leadin' the pack
Nobody's gonna get me on another rap
So look at me now
I'm just makin' my play
Don't try to push your luck, just get out of my way

'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
(Well) I'm back in black
Yes, I'm back in black

Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
Well I'm back in black
Yes I'm back in black

Hooo yeah
Ohh yeah
Yes I am
Oooh yeah, yeah Oh yeah
Back in now
Well I'm back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back
Back in black
Yes I'm back in black

Outta sight

Why Jason Priestly is an embarrassment to the Civil Service

When the public don't seem to care about a news story, this is usually a sign that it is a very important news story. Like my Kate Middleton fashion news updates. Sometimes Joe Public just doesn't deserve the service I provide.

However, the fact that you are here on my website is a good sign that you value très bon journalism. The fact that my website is free puts that value at precisely £0, but let's not get caught up in the fine detail.

I have never met Jason Priestly, but my instincts told me he was trouble. Not that this was obvious from his childhood, since he grew up in a nice neighbourhood (90210 is basically the BT9 of America).

In the late 1990's he moved from Beverly Hills to a position with the folks on the hill. For those of you unaware of his recent troubles, let me recap:

- Jason Priestly is appointed Conor Murphy's chief pencil sharpener.
- After a tip-off that NI Water is crap, the Stormont Committee for Monitoring Hijinks get on the case.
- It emerges Jason Priestly has written a letter for a man saying that the Committee for Monitoring Hijinks are "big and smelly".
- His boss Conor Murphy decides he acted 'ultra vires', but not understanding what 'ultra vires' means, the Minister initiates an investigation to be conducted by Civil Service boss, Sir Bruce Forsyth.
- After this investigation was completed, I found out all the facts, but I didn't tell any of you lot.

However, now the findings have been made public, and it turns out that Jason Priestly has been so naughty that he has been demoted to a 2.4% less cushy role. This has made some people very upset, particularly those he callled "big and smelly".

The parallel in the private sector would be a PLC's janitor deliberately blocking all the toilets so that everyone ends up ankle deep in 'ultra vires'. He or she would not get time to clear their janitor cupboard. How do I know? I witnessed it with my own eyes – I was that janitor.

I think this whole affair has further to run, and rest assured I know many more facts and details about the case. But I won't be telling you lot.

Watch this space.